| wow. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2008|02:02 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 43235. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
i'm just going to say that life is freaking crazy. i have no real mechanism for making sense of it all, so i'm just taking it as it comes and dealing to the best of my basic abilities. that said, it feels like there is no neutral ground right now! i am however, learning how to depend on people i never thought i would depend on. and that helps to figure things out. it helps to make reality what seemed, a day or two ago, to be the impossible. i'm really hoping things come together nicely, like in the next week or two, but if they don't, i've come to realize that i can make stuff happen IF i want it to. i suppose even if i don't desire something one hundred percent, i still have the power to "try it on for size", i suppose, but that's a whole second line of questioning that i will ponder tomorrow :)
all the extremes are just so weird. for example, yesterday, sunday, my best friend got married. it was so surreal, i couldn't keep from crying repeatedly. i am so in love and so frightened and sad and stressed and angry all at once, and it's a bit much. i think maybe it means i'll be forced into a mechanism. we'll see. either way, i conclude that being an adult is something insane and difficult and confusing, but above all else, really worthwhile. |
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| drum roll, please.... |
[Aug. 14th, 2008|05:48 pm] |
i don't have cancer! (yet).
that's great.
and i think my heart's going strong, so it'll take some sort of natural disaster or murder or something to take my living abilities away from me in the near future. take that, man. |
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| just sayin'.... |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|09:26 pm] |
wouldn't it be funny to throw away thirty dollars on kings X and extreme in cleveland? a nice throwback? a good little roadtrip? huh? yeah?
... that's what i thought too.
(thanks) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|09:16 pm] |
i was dreading going to the relay for life yesterday. i'd volunteered myself to be there for a good seven hours or so without even knowing what i was getting into. anyway, i met a two-years-my-senior sort of version of myself and got to know another starbuckian a bit better, and i really liked both ladies a lot. that said, we got literally blown over by extreme weather, and i got to go home at like seven at night after having spent an insane amount of time talking in cars watching the "inclement weather".
i then realized the fault in my initial dread, when today at work, a couple of newlyweds drove through and told me the weather forced their wedding indoors. they were at the park of roses.
jamie's getting married at the end of august, and i am going to pick up my dress tomorrow morning. she claims i will love it. she claims it will look wonderful on me. i'm terrified. i promise myself not to be lazy, but to get the damn thing tailored if necessary. hold me to it people.
i am very much looking forward to this weekend.
i'm going to play the wii that is sitting in my room :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|12:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
:) my life is speeding by (and mosey-ing at the same time)! i think it is because i am most dangerously happy.
i'm not sure what is going to happen on the job/school front-- interesting.
Miriam Hannah is growing up beautifully and steadily, and an ever-present reminder of the passing of this time.
I finally brought fruit and libations to Shakespeare in the park, alas, the play was not Shakespeare. I don't understand.
Happy Summer :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2008|12:16 am] |
| [ | music |
| | mozart. even though i'm alone in liking him most of the time. | ] |
yesterday, we had a proper falaffel party. today was very entertaining, and i am thankful still to be at the point in my life where i don't have to worry about the fact that i don't really make any money and my major responsibility is showing up to make coffee. one of these days i won't be encouraged to ask customers about their adult jobs and i won't be surprised when one out of a thousand has an interesting career, like, maker of women-geared vibrators. yes, i love my life.
beauty, health, figuring stuff out.... even sadness is new to me these days because my brain has shifted its functioning. and i get to watch notting hill here at home tomorrow and i am very excited about it.
i am sooooo lucky!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2008|12:48 pm] |
...things are humming along.
yesterday my dad and i walked to clintonville and along the way i saw a box of records, with a free sign on the front. i perused the collection and it was a ton of classical beauties. i am going to try them out today to see if anything works-- if they do indeed play, i am now in possession of a bonified stockpile of classical greatness.
i am a bit worried about my ggma, who is in hospice care at present, but i think she is pulling out of yet another bout of pneumonia, cause she's the toughest almost-a-century-old broad i know.
otherwise, things are pretty great. i cannot complain. i was reminded, just walking along by myself the other day, that i am an INCREDIBLY fortunate person.
oh, and someone read tarot cards for me last night. he said people sometimes call him a sociopath (the universe sends you what you ask for apparently), and i think he is simply a bit on the psychotic side. he reminded me a bit of my pen pal, actually, which speaks volumes to the psychotic/sociopath reference. on that note, i will also mention that the friend "justino" of my pen pal gave my old address to another inmate who wrote to me to find out if i wanted to date him!!!!!!! i have elected not to do the respectful thing (respond and gently turn him down), but to be irreverent and neglect the letter. otherwise, i think the negative repercussions could continue or multiply. what do you people think??? thank you for any input. |
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| as suggested |
[May. 1st, 2008|11:51 am] |
| [ | music |
| | le loup and mastodon | ] |
this week has been sweet. i have been interviewing of late a little bit, feeling out my job options...
i had a new experience which i loved, on monday night while hanging out with a few of my coworkers... i can't exactly say what it was on livejournal, but still it is noteworthy to say that i had a good time.
work is quite fun still...
miriam is humming along well at home, after an entire week of life outside the womb. laura is doing well also!!!
i'm enjoying this point in my life-- i think i feel young again and that is so great. it's as though i'm reemerging in time with the seasons, which probably isn't an accident. having that feeling of being able to do things that you might not have the opportunity for at other times in your life (aka youth) is liberating. also the feeling of just being darn near completely okay with yourself despite anyone else in the world. i really feel quite free to just behave however i'd like or be whomever it is that i want to be, and that is lovely :) |
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| this weekend |
[Apr. 28th, 2008|10:20 pm] |
was freaking sweet. miriam hannah was born :) finally!!!!
i went to visit her friday morning/afternoon, i went to the topiary gardens and had a nice walk and visit...
i met up with my unc and dad for a little while...
i went out with jen, james, stephanie, and jan-dore... unplanned visits are always lovely.
this week is sweet as well.
i'll perhaps update about it later.
-l
:) :) :) |
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| today... |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|12:33 pm] |
began satisfying a whim of mine...
apparently, my favorite, ann curry, interviewed angelina jolie in africa. it's on youtube.
if you're a dude, if you're a woman with the slightest tendency toward homosexuality... if you like good ladies in general... youtube it!!!
:) what a gift. i love my life. |
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laurnarenee's journal